Thursday, July 31, 2008

How to go batty in the three weeks before your due date

1. Visit your baby board on babycenter as often as possible (at least 10 times a day) to read all of the updated baby announcements and vents from other crazy pregnant women. Be sure to catch all of the posts entitled "Am I having contractions?" and "Did my water break?"

2. Take Evening Primrose Oil three times a day, just in case it ripens your cervix. This will ensure that six hours never pass without you thinking about said cervix.

3. Watch as many baby shows on TV as possible, even if you normally don't. Very easy with DVR. Did you know these things are on like, ALL DAY if you really look for them? Babies:Special Delivery, Bringing Baby Home, Birth Day......this list goes on and on. If possible, lay down in bed while watching them so that you feel extra pregnant and listless.

4. Inform your husband every time you have a contraction. This is especially helpful for driving yourself crazy if your husband is going to be taking a month off when you have the baby - he will be intensely interested in analyzing each contraction right along with you.
5. Scout out baby announcements and make "mock" ones with the baby's name, date of birth, and weight. Make sure you put the fake date as one that is very near.

6. Obsess over the fact that your five year old's kindergarten open house is the day after your due date so you HAVE to have the baby early.
7. Try to eat as many foods as possible that cause gas. Then you can wonder if your gas is actually contractions!


Christie said...

Cracking me up even though I've never really gotten close enough to start obsessing personally. I've still obsessed vicariously with plenty of women on baby boards.

Chad said...

Nice post - And by the way -Its 5 Weeks not a month. Keep me in the loop if you feel another contraction.

The Jeppson Bunch said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! That is SO FUNNY & SO ME!!! I NEVER watch baby shows until the day I find out I am pregnant and then I can not get enough of them! I feel like I need to prepare by watching women in labor... in the end it just scares you to death sometimes. I did not know I was watching one where it was only talking about extreme deliveries... so... lets just say... I WAS SCARED TO DEATH!!! Then the other ones usually had a lot of women who did not know what they were doing and stressing out WAY too much, so I was thinking, "Is that going to be me?"

So, yeah, I know JUST what you are going through! The last month of my pregnancy I am always out walking and walking and walking and eating anything rumored to put you into labor! I knew I was no longer going to be working after I had Lettie and there were so many day when my co-worker (who lived in my neighborhood and came home after me) would be pulling into the neighborhood and would fuss at me for walking and trying to go into labor before our youth picnic. I did make it until after the picnic... but I did not want to! ;)!

Ok, this is getting to be a long comment! But yeah, after I had Nolan so early, I have NEVER liked the last month!

Kari said...

The ONLY good thing about the last month of pregnancy is how GRATEFUL it makes you feel when the baby is finally out! I don't care how fussy the child is or how little sleep I get, it's always so nice just to have my body back to myself (relatively.) Hang in there, Katie!

Ashley said...

Now that I'm 4 weeks away I thought I'd re-visit this post. :) Having the doctor tell me I'm 1-2 cm dilated doesn't help! I've been wanting some chinese food and I know it will give me horrible gas and I know I'll think the gas pains are contractions! But going early would ruin a lot of plans, so I need to just be patient.