1. Visit your baby board on babycenter as often as possible (at least 10 times a day) to read all of the updated baby announcements and vents from other crazy pregnant women. Be sure to catch all of the posts entitled "Am I having contractions?" and "Did my water break?"
2. Take Evening Primrose Oil three times a day, just in case it ripens your cervix. This will ensure that six hours never pass without you thinking about said cervix.
3. Watch as many baby shows on TV as possible, even if you normally don't. Very easy with DVR. Did you know these things are on like, ALL DAY if you really look for them? Babies:Special Delivery, Bringing Baby Home, Birth Day......this list goes on and on. If possible, lay down in bed while watching them so that you feel extra pregnant and listless.
4. Inform your husband every time you have a contraction. This is especially helpful for driving yourself crazy if your husband is going to be taking a month off when you have the baby - he will be intensely interested in analyzing each contraction right along with you.
5. Scout out baby announcements and make "mock" ones with the baby's name, date of birth, and weight. Make sure you put the fake date as one that is very near.
6. Obsess over the fact that your five year old's kindergarten open house is the day after your due date so you HAVE to have the baby early.
7. Try to eat as many foods as possible that cause gas. Then you can wonder if your gas is actually contractions!