Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Keepin’ It Real Wednesday

We spent the morning as a family at Epcot.  Oliver was dragging, not wanting to walk at all, and we couldn’t blame him.  He was sick yesterday morning (after a less-than-stellar day at Magic Kingdom on Monday).  He is our kid who will throw up in the morning and be eating and running around by dinnertime, with no one else in the family getting sick at all.  Yesterday, sure enough, he was eating again by 11 am with no further incidents and we were just thankful it happened on our day off. 

While I rode Soarin’  today at Epcot with Gabe and Colin, Chad got the other two a snack.  Ollie said his stomach hurt and then laid down on the ground and almost went to sleep.  As soon as we got off the ride, we decided that Ollie, Carina and I would go back home for the rest of the day so Ollie could take a nap and regain his energy.  Chad would drive us back so they would have the van.  Right as drove down the street that leads to our condo, Oliver threw up all over the seat of our (month-old) van.  I scrambled back there and handed him the pool bag in desperation, and Chad got to spend the next hour taking care of the van. 

I have to tell you that I am disappointed.  Disappointed that our vacation has been invaded by sickness.  Disappointed that my little boy hasn’t had the time of his life.  Disappointed that I haven’t had the time of my life.  Disappointed that we came here in October to avoid the crowds and they are HERE. Disappointed that Chad is at Epcot with the boys without me.

It is silly though, right?  How can I be let down? To be able to spend a week with my family in a nice, spacious condo with a bed for everyone.  To spend four days at the Magic Kingdom without pinching our pennies.  I can’t really be disappointed in the easy life I lead, and the hours of fun we have still had.

When I sat and thought about that this afternoon, I realized that what I am most disappointed in is this:  that despite six months of planning on my part – researching tickets and condos, planning healthy meals, knowing when to ride what, coordinating matching colors each day (for crying out loud) – despite all my good intentions of trying to match this trip as smooth and AWESOME as possible, something happened that was completely out of my control to make it less than awesome. 

I hate that.  Don’t you?  It makes me a little sick to my stomach because it brings to mind my helplessness.  It makes me think about the fact that even when I do everything “right,”  bad stuff still happens…stuff way more serious that a couple days of barfing.  My heart starts to beat hard and loud in my chest with those thoughts. 

Identifying that fear helped me a feel so much better though.  Because fear can be replaced by faith every time.  And even though I hate to think that my kid had to be sick to bring me back to that faith, it did. For the first time this week, I took the time to sit down in the quiet, after Oliver and Carina went to sleep, to read my scriptures and pray.  When I did, my blessings lined up right before my eyes, dwarfing my disappointments.

 

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1 comment:

Olivia Carter said...

Brilliant post.
Brilliant insight.
Brilliant attitude.
As always :)