Last Wednesday I went to ballet class. I held my chest and chin up with my ballerina gaze, waltzing and pirouetting until my calves ached and my back was drenched with sweat. For an hour and a half I was grace and determination
I went home, put the harness on Lemon, and walked her down our trail. I left my phone at home and basked in the dark shadows and bright sunshine of the leaveless trees. For half an hour I was strength and serenity
When we got home, Lemon napped at my feet as I cooked and did laundry. My Mindy Gledhill station sang out from Pandora as I cooked Masaman for school lunches the next day and chow mein and spring rolls for dinner. The clock counted the minutes until my kids would step off the bus. Everything would be ready - clothes in drawers, food on the table, mom happy to see them. For three hours I was energy and confidence
Fifteen minutes before their bus was set to arrive, a realization jolted through me.
The four youngest were not taking the bus today. I had reminded them and sent two of their teachers notes telling them they would be car riders......
So that we could get to a music class, which started in fifteen minutes and was half an hour away......
.....AND I should have been at the school half an hour ago to pick them up - the school that was twenty minutes away.
For the rest of the night I was panic and shame.
And there is a possibility that I might be writing this Keepin' It Real Wednesday as a reminder to myself that they are car riders today
In addition to the three reminders on my phone
and the alarm that Colin set up on Alexa.