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Something good for something better

Last summer Chad was given the assignment (or "calling") of "ward clerk" at church.  This job requires him to be at church 2 1/2 hrs early on most Sundays for meetings, which is pretty crazy considering that church also lasts 3 hrs.  The Sunday that he was called, my friend Stacie, whose husband also has to be at same same meetings each week, was commiserating with me about the joys of getting all the kids to church by yourself.  I joked with her that Chad and I were probably going to get in a lot fewer fights now because we always seemed to argue during the rush to get to church on time.  Then I laughed and speculated that I would probably just fight with my kids now instead.

I am a very imperfect person, and I have to admit to you that those first few months were hard.  As Mormons, we try to dedicate our Sundays to our Heavenly Father.  Since we want other people to be able to keep the Sabbath Day holy, we don't shop or go to restaurants and we try to avoid anything that would require other people to work.  The boys have skipped soccer games and while a lot of people are on the lake with their boats during the summer, we are in church.  Saturdays are our work and play days, and Sundays are the day we try to recommit ourselves to doing God's work.  My point being - we sacrifice our Sundays.   I am used to it.  I grew up that way.  However, Sundays are also a family day and I was also used to having my husband by my side throughout it.  Having him gone meant yet another day of getting the kids ready and keeping them happy (alone).

I would often arrive at church just done.  Fed up with the kids, exhausted, not wanting to be there and resentful towards Chad because of his absence (and he felt it). I couldn't really admit that, but it's true.  I wanted him to do his part in church and do his best at it, but I resented it.  And if you have ever gone to church with a baby, you know that your work has just begun once you get there. Even getting all the kids out of the car and into the building is a chore.

My resentment towards Chad faded as I got used to just counting on myself, and then my prediction to Stacie came true:  I was fighting with my kids.  A lot.  Getting them dressed, they would fling their pajamas across my face and their eyes would roll back in their heads with the deliberate avoidance of eye contact: if we don't look her in the eyes, we can feign shock and disbelief when she breaks down and screams. The ride to church was often silent after I dared any of them to utter one more word of complaint. 

Thankfully, I always left church feeling edified and relaxed -even when I spent a good deal of time nursing, changing diapers, and walking the halls. 

I wish I could say I prayed and fasted one week and learned overnight how to be nice to kids while still getting to church on time, but change has come very gradually.  

This morning, when I sat in the chapel singing the opening hymn, I realized I was actually smiling.  I felt kindly toward my husband and kids and was so happy to be there. There had been no tears or yelling to get there.  A small accomplishment, but no....not actually an accomplishment.  A blessing - that even though I was impatient at times, I was trying really hard to do something good for whole family and my Heavenly Father had seen it and helped me.  I am sure I will have many more frustrating and spiritually strained Sunday mornings, but I love that He didn't just take my "trial" from me.  He trusted me to use it and grow because of it.  Hopefully I have.

Playing catch-up

This is very old news, but the kids celebrated Chinese New Year in January.  For those of you who don’t know, Colin and Gabe both attend Waddell Language Academy as a part of the Chinese immersion program.  In the past, they have always had a huge program for Chinese New Year, with all the Chinese classes performing and parties in each class, but this year they decided to scale back.  Each class had a performance and party in their class for their parents.  It also happened to be Chad’s birthday, and since they ask that no siblings attend, he got to spend his day off with Carina and Ollie while I went to four hours worth of stuff at the school.

Colin was the narrator for his class performance.   As soon as I got there, I could tell he was super nervous.  He was white and not smiling – looked sick to his stomach.  He did a great job.  He told me afterwards that he was so glad it was over.  He had been absent for the two days before it, and in that time they had learned all of their movements for the songs they sang.  Not knowing everything really shook him up – which I can fully appreciate because of all the nightmares I have had about being onstage at a dance recital and not knowing the dance. After the performance, we had some great food.

Next, Colin and I got to go to Gabe’s class.  His teacher had them sing some songs for us, and then all the kids learned how to make dumplings.    It was my first time in Gabe’s class since he started kindergarten, and I was amazed at how much Chinese the kids already understand.  The teacher gave all her instructions in Chinese – it is still surreal to see your child understanding a language that doesn’t register in your brain at all.  With the all worrying I did about Gabe starting (just because he has always been my homebody), I loved seeing him exceling and happy in his learning home.  We got to eat some more good food and the kids took a little rest, “waiting” for their red envelopes.

That night we went to Mac’s to celebrate Chaddy’s birthday.  We had a great time, but I don’t think it really did his birthday justice.  He is such a wonderful father and husband and we are so blessed to have him in our life. 

We did go on a date the next day, but we ended up just going furniture shopping.  We sold our other couch on craigslists(the one I was never quite sure about) and had an empty living room.  Kinda a duddy date, but furniture shopping without kids is much better than furniture shopping with kids and we found something we are happy with so it was a good day. 

Post Nap

28 lbs

This morning, Oliver ate:

Spaghetti

Tuna with crackers

An orange

Pretzels

Craisins

and

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich

All before 10 am.

At 10, he asked me to make him a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

I did, he ate it all, and then said he was still hungry....

At which point I knew that what he really needed was not food, but this:

Now here I am, 9 pm, and I just ate a bag full of cashews, Craisins, almonds, and chocolate chips,

But who is here to make me go to bed?

Keepin' It Real Wednesday

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it - the disposing of dirty diapers.

While performing this unpleasant task one time, Chad chuckled and told me that sometimes he thought about how awful/hilarious it would be to take the disgusting diapers, box them up, and then mail them to someone. They would be so excited to get a surprise package in the mail, and then....WHAM, the smell would hit them. 

Awwwwwww.

I love my husband for many many reasons, but the fact that he came up with this sinister idea makes me fall in love with him over and over again...

every single time I see a bag of smelly diapers.

Staying at home

I had the boys stay home from school today.  They were both well and running around, but I figured they could use another day to stop being contagious, and these were the first absences for either of them, so I figured it would be okay.  That brought about the challenge of having all four kids home with nowhere to go  - kids who have all been cooped up a little too long already.  I decided by 8:30 in the morning that I needed a plan or I was going to end up hiding in my bathroom with Carina, listening to the boys duke it out in the playroom. 

I wrote down a schedule for the boys – chores, piano practice, PE (Just Dance 3), schoolwork, lunchtime, quiet time….with a point system leading to the promise of candy.  I have found with both Colin and Gabe, that once they start school they love schedules and routines and rewards.  Last summer we kept a tight schedule and it saved us.  Today reminded me of the summer, only now Carina isn’t a little infant who will fall asleep anywhere  - she is a little girl who loves to be entertained and doesn’t love to take naps when her biggest brothers are home.  Today she took two 10 minute nursing naps – the lovely kind where the baby finally drops their head back and you let out a sigh of relief as you try to slink off, only to have the baby open their eyes and smile, acting like they had a good night’s sleep.  Hey, Good Morning Mom, long time no see.  I don’t know if you know this or not, but 9 month old babies definitely need more than 20 minutes worth of naps during the day. So, yeah…

It was a good day though, considering.  The boys fought, especially Gabe and Oliver – Gabe is Mr. Jokester-play-on-words right now, and Oliver and Mr. Literal- and Colin got restless and hyper, but we survived Ingalls-style.  We worked and played and cleaned together. I liked it because my focus was right where it needed to be.  I had no choice but to give motherhood my full attention and effort.

I was reminded once again that it is so much easier and rewarding to treat my stay-at-home-status like the profession it really is – my “career” and “passion” – what I believe in spending my time on. It is NOT a distraction from facebook, pinterest, a perfectly clean house, a perfectly toned boy….all those things are wonderful and awesome in their place, but sometimes I feel like my kids are constantly dragging my thoughts back to them with their demands, and today I was reminded how much more fulfilling it all is when my thoughts are just there……right there on them already.

Keepin’ It Real Wednesday

What a difference 24 hours can make.

Last night at this time, Chad and I were strategically gluing the weights on Colin’s first “real” Pinewood Derby car, making plans about what we all needed to do finish it in the next 24 hrs, in order to be ready for the race tonight.

(I know Colin is not included in that sentence, and it is his car, so he really should be….. but this is Keepin’ It Real Wednesday).

Not long after, Gabe threw up in the bowl he had recently requested.  How sad – he won’t be ale to go to Colin’s race Wednesday night.

A couple of hours later, Colin joined him.  How very very sad. No race for anyone.

A couple of hours later, I awoke to the sound of Carina throwing up next to me. Poor poor baby, but I need sleep forcryingoutloud.

And who knows when…Oliver stumbled into our bedroom, eyes barely open, covered in vomit.   I think Chad is handling that, right? Zzzzzzzz

It was a loooooong day, followed by a long day of Smurfs, Mr. Popper’s Penquins, Saltines and Moneyball for Chad and I.  The “good news” was that Chad had already requested the day off to go the Dr. for what he thought was strep throat, so he was home and washed loads and loads of laundry and Lysoled everything.  

So here we are, 24 hours later, and while all the other Cub Scouts are racing their cars, Colin is sleeping with a bowl next to him.

Here’s to hoping to health by Friday…..

which is the big Chinese’s New Year celebration…..

and…

Chad’s birthday. Gulp.

Please don’t let him be sick on his birthday….

or me, because that is almost as awful for him.

Did I ever tell you about New Year’s Eve?

I was one of the most fun times I have ever had with my family.  We threw caution to the wind and let our kids stay up ‘til (gulp) midnight.  Well, Carina only lasted until 10:30 – not even fussing or crying, just happy to be hanging out with so many admirers.  We had brother Levi and sister-in-law Audra there with their seven kids, and my sister Christie and brother-in-law James with their three kids, so 14 kids in all.  Callie, age 4, was the only other one who didn’t make it. 

The cousins had such a fun time – I think the only fight of the night broke out around 11:00 and it was between two of mine (shocker).  Everyone got along amazingly well and kept busy with Just Dance 3 on the Kinect downstairs, Harry Potter on the Wii upstairs, a fire outside, and………

Uncle James’ spritz gun.  He helped the kids made, like, a million of these spritz cookies.  He had some very captivated helpers and all the patience in the world. 

 

Christie made a bingo game with all the cousins’ faces on it, and we broke that out not long before midnight.  We an impromptu prize of McDonald’s coupons, the kids had a really good time.  It was really cute to watch them looking for their cousins faces.

The game ended just in time to countdown to the New Year. 

What a wonderful way to ring in the new year, surrounded by people I love. 

This last picture was shortly after the clock struck twelve, with Ollie starting to fall apart and Chad telling everyone to wrap it up.

No-Brother-Left-Behind

 

One of the gifts that Oliver got from my in-laws for Christmas is a book of preschool worksheets.  While trying to get dinner on the other day, I pulled it out to distract him.  His little toddler hands were quickly at work, tracing and coloring.  I was impressed with him – I didn’t even know he could grasp the concept of tracing yet – and so was Gabe, who remarked, “Ollie is actually pretty good at tracing.”  This is high praise from Gabe, who tells Oliver on a regular basis that his coloring isn’t good enough because he leaves “too many white spots”.  Gabe got a Sharpie out and set to work grading Oliver’s work.  Oliver enjoyed the attention and praise, as he always does when it eeks out of his older brothers.

As Gabe taught Oliver a few pointers, Colin came in.  Assessing the learning situation at hand, he grabbed a blank piece of paper and created a pop quiz for Gabe.  Without questioning Colin’s authority, Gabe earnestly set to work and was rewarded with his own Sharpie-d grade. 

Straight-A students, even when graded by the 8 and under crowd.  Aren’t you impressed?

My doll

Before this little girl was born, I had enough dresses to last her 'til she is around 18 months...most of them given as gifts by people who were excited to clothe our little princess.  What is more fun to buy as a baby gift than a little dress?  I have loved pulling those dresses every week to see what fits her now and every time I do, I think of the person who gave it to her.  Here, Miss is saying, "Thanks Aunt Cathy! I got lots of compliments today!"

She has started doing this cheese for the camera smile where she scrunches up the bridge of her nose and really hams it up.  It makes us laugh every time.  She has also started doing it every time she can catch someones eye, so trips to the grocery store and church are one big, "The whole world is here to see me" fest.

I know, two days in a row of iPhone pictures, but it is better than pulling out my red camera at church, right?  My phone holds my scriptures too, so it I happen to have it with me....and I happen to see something I want to snap a picture of, before church or between classes.....I'm not too obsessed with taking pictures, right? ;o)

A Sun....BEAM!

The new year means that all of the kids move up a class in church, which means Oliver moved from the "nursery"  where he had toys, snack, and his granny, to the Sunbeams, where they have metal chairs, and a lot more sitting.  He is lucky to have some wonderful teachers, but was quite shy about starting something so new.  They start out by meeting with the other young classes for "sharing time" and he would only go in there if he was allowed to sit by his older brother Gabe instead of with his class.   Gabe was quite the big brother about it, and from report I received later, Oliver sat next to him the whole time - almost an hour of singing and talking - and behaved well.  He was sad to then go with his class to their classroom, but he did it anyway.  He told me later about how upset his cousin Liam was about the whole change and said, with a very long face, "Mom, I didn't want to go to class.  I just wanted to go home."  

I remembered Gabe's starting-Sunbeams- picture and made sure I got some of Oliver with his brothers to commemorate the event.  Could they be any more adorable?

Can you believe that I announced I was pregnant with this little guy on this blog, and now I am putting Sunbeam pictures up of him?!