Many nights when Chad or I are putting the boys to bed, Colin will say something like, "Mom, I have bad dreams when I sleep in my room." Most of the time I just say "Shhhh! You are waking Gabe up!" or "Colin, it is time to go to sleep. Stop talking!!!!!" I know it sounds heartless, but he is usually exhausted by the point and I know he will be asleep within 5 minutes if he stops talking, plus Colin knows exactly how to tug at my heart-strings.
Sometimes I do ask Colin what his bad dreams are about, and he usually tells me that he can't remember. Last night when I asked, his response was different. He told me that his bad dreams are about cars. I asked him what happens. This is what he said:
"I'm like, standing in the driveway, and I see a car pulling up and I think 'Why are mommy and daddy driving up?' but then it's not you, it's a man. "
I ask, "And then what happens?"
"He takes me somewhere."
"Where does he take you?"
"Somewhere bad. He takes me away."
UGH! I felt a physical ache in my chest when he said this. Honestly, he could be making it up because he is at that age where his imagination is really developing, and he can be a bit of a manipulator, but even if he is, I don't like the fact that he can imagine a story like this.
We talked a little bit about how Mommy and Daddy are always with him and how that couldn't happen. Then I told him a cheerful story to get his mind off it and he fell asleep. I went downstairs and relayed the story to Chad. He was really bothered by it, and said that he didn't like Colin thinking about things like that, and that we needed to make sure we monitored more closely what Colin watches. I reminded him that Colin never watches anything but kids' shows because he goes to bed before we (Chad) watch TV (Prisobreak:o) .
The harsh fact is that Colin is 4 1/2, and we have had all of the stranger talks with him, so he does know that there are bad people out there who could do bad things to him, so of course that is going to scare him sometimes. I remember when I was little, I was afraid our house would catch on fire. Why? Simply because we had had more than one FHE about fire safety, where we reviewed our exit plans and learned to crawl on the floor and watch out for hot doorknobs. That put very vivid images in my head, images that frightened me, but I was no longer ignorant in case of a fire.
I have to remind myself that some fear is healthy. I do want Colin to still be afraid of some strangers. Something that really annoys me is when clerks at stores semi-jokingly chastise Colin because he doesn't tell them his name or if he answers too quietly. Southern hospitality and talkative, loud children are lauded around here, but it's okay with me if Colin is shy with people he doesn't know. He loves people, and loves to socialize, but he does like to get to know people a little first, and that is perfectly okay with me.
