12 Years, Fingerprints, Tacos, and a Tsunami

We had a terribly romantic anniversary. 

One of the many milestones in completing an international adoption is getting an I600a approval.  The I600a is an “Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition.”  We sent this application in a month ago, and like everything else, we want it to be approved as quickly as possible, so that we can move onto the next step.  Part of the approval hinges on the FBI clearing our fingerprints, which they already did once as a part of our home study (in addition to the state clearing them as a part of our dossier), but this one requires the the applicants to submit their fingerprints through an appointment at a special biometrics center. ( Ron Swanson would be fuming right about now)

Two weeks ago we got our appointment notification and it made me smile because it was only two weeks away (a lot of people wait longer) and it was scheduled for our anniversary.

With the help of my brother Bryce, who was babysitting Carina and Ollie, who were *mostly* recovered from a nasty stomach virus that has invaded our home this week, I met Chad at our appointment.  Chad had been sick two days previous to this,  but was feeling well enough to drag himself to work and on our anniversary date.  I managed to do my hair and makeup only by giving up on Carina taking a nap after three tries, and I bought a new outfit during my one time out of the house that week when I took Gabe to his soccer and then ran off to Target real quick and then ran back.  I didn’t even try it on until the next day at home.

(Oh wait, I did leave the house one other time in order to go to a church training meeting, so I guess I can’t complain)

Anyway, Chad said he was still feeling good after our appointment, so we continued our date at Paco’s Tacos, which we have been wanting to try for awhile.  Both of us love good tacos more than just about anything else.  I have to put in a few words about the food, because….well, we love tacos:  The chips were superb.  Very fresh, crisp, and plenty of salt.  I usually have to salt my tortilla chips at restaurants so this was big for me.  The salsa was also great.  I spooned some out onto my plate before Chad touched it because I did not want to take a chance of him double-dipping and possibly infecting the whole lot, and I ended up running out of salsa before chips.  This was two baskets of chips in and the waiter ended up bringing  us a third basket of chips and more salsa, so it was all good.  You have to love a waiter that keeps up with your chip consumption.

  I ordered a shrimp taco and a fish taco and both were good, but not really comparable to my favorite seafood tacos at Cabo Fish Taco.  Chad ordered their signature “Paco Taco” and their smoked turkey club taco and both were DELICIOUS (he let me try them before he touched them, because we always try each others food and if you don’t share a Paco Taco with your wife on your anniversary, you shouldn’t be married).  Their sides were also tasty, and I really liked my charro beans. 

After lunch, Chad went home to relieve Bryce and to do some more work, and I went to pick up the two older boys from school.

After we put the kids to bed, we had a little movie date with “The Impossible.”  It might not be a cutsie-romantic movie….. and Chad and I didn’t even do so much as hold hands because I was afraid of his germs (No touching!)…..and I spent a good deal of the movie doing my ugly cry and peeping through the hands  I had thrown over my face…but it really was a great way for me to end our anniversary (reminded of our precious my family is).

Better than the way Chad ended it, which was on in our bathroom.

In sickness and in health does not mean we need to share salsa.

Daughters

On Thursday my mom came over for dinner.  When we were done eating, I motioned for her to come to the back slider and I pointed out at my blooming wisteria.  She gave a happy gasp and I smiled at her reaction.  I was happy to share. We grabbed Carina and walked out to admire the billows of lavender blossoms hanging down from the white arbor, just as I dreamt of years ago when I planted it.  My mom picked Carina up to smell the sweet flowers and they laughed.  Carina talked and talked and pulled the petals off, letting them rain down onto the green spring grass.

My  mom has been fading more quickly this past year.  Moments like this are scarcer.  With Carina close up to my mom’s bright eyes, I thought about the struggles that her brain goes through every day.  It constantly fires off information that doesn’t always reach its destination.  As tiring as that must be, how much more exhausting is it to then try to look beyond yourself and make connections with the words and actions and even facial expressions of others? 

My mom is strong.  So strong, as I am reminded over and over again, even as her mind becomes weaker.  While I watched her in that perfect moment with my daughter, I knew.  Knew that YES, being a mother is so hard and I make so many mistakes, but YES, it is the most important thing I can do on this earth.  Knew that this woman had influenced me for good more than any person in my life even with all her past and present imperfections – imperfections that might have hindered her efforts but made her results all the more profound.  She had done it as a partner with my father and my Heavenly Father. 

There is so much sorrow in this story, but that sorrow makes the beauty all the more profound.

It takes some faith to see that beauty.

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Earlier that day, I stuffed two gallon sized bags full of dresses, shoes, toothbrushes, and pictures.  I mailed them off to a woman who is on her way to the DR Congo.  She will deliver them to two sisters there.  These two little girls are 23 months old and 3 1/2 years old and we are in the process of adopting them. 

We began this process, in earnest, in February, and we still have a lot of waiting and paperwork ahead of us.  Probably 9-12 months of it.  We are far from being certain that these girls will become a part of our family – our case still needs to go through court in Congo and there is a real possibility that we could “lose” this referral. 

Whether they become our daughters or not, we have unleashed our hearts to them.  They are in our minds and prayers every day and every night.

The process is hard, and I know that welcoming them into our home will be even harder for all of us.  For us to teach a child (not a baby) who doesn’t speak our language, in a world that is brand new to them.  For my kids to get used to two new sisters who won’t get the family humor right off and who won’t understand the family rules.  And for them?  Trusting a face that looks so different than any they have ever known.  Stepping into an already-made family.  Bearing unspeakable grief for their loss of everything.  Everything.

There is a lot of fear in my heart.  As much as I want to start to mother these girls NOW, I am grateful for the time I have been given.

I am trying to use that time to replace fear with faith. 

Dress Up

Spring Break 2013, through the lens of my camera phone

 

 

Carowinds on opening day.  We got season passes for Christmas, so this will be the first of many trips.

The North Carolina Zoo on Monday – all 10 Charlotte cousins. It was super crowded and we spent the whole day pushing strollers and frantically looking around to make sure we had all the kids.

Tuesday – Colin’s 10th birthday.  He planned out a sports party over on the lawn by our volleyball courts and playground.  We played soccer, baseball, tennis, volleyball, and kickball and ate pizza.  Instead of cake, he wanted cookies with whipped cream.  As a bonus, we let him stay up until 9:00, playing on the computer.

Wednesday, fishing at Copperhead Island with Grandpa.

Thursday and Friday –not much! 

Easter Day

Easter  morning, before going downstairs

I feel pretty lame that I edited hundreds of beautifully-lit Easter pictures of other people’s children with bunnies and flowers…..

..and then all I get of my own kids is a hastily taken photo on the floor of our computer room, as we rushed out the door to church!

They are still cute though!  And this pictures is better than nothing, I guess.

Lunch with Colin

Colin’s birthday is almost always during Spring Break, which is awesome for him, but it means that he never gets to bring cupcakes to school on his birthday.  Carina and I went to lunch at his school last Thursday (Ollie was at preschool) and brought mini-cupcakes for his classmates. 

Since there are only two Chinese classes (and each has withered down to around 13 students in each 4th grade class), I know, at least by face, all the kids in his class. Most of them by name. It is always fun to see them and hear them reminisce about how big Colin’s siblings are getting.  Also, it is nice to see that even though my boy may be entering that slightly awkward stage, his classmates are right there with them :)  Like, I know that Colin showers every day and I have even taught him to do his own hair, which I thought wasn’t much of an accomplishment, but now I think it might be.

Also, you always wonder how old your kid will be when they start getting embarrassed by you, and Colin is still not there, which is really nice to know.  We got to sit at our own table, away from his class, but when it was time to pass the cupcakes out he asked me to come help him, with Carina.

For lunch he requested that I bring him a sub sandwich from Target with salami, pepperoni, mozzarella and sundried tomatoes.  He had that sandwich once a couple of years ago and has never forgotten it.  He was happy with his choice and the cupcakes he chose – red velvet and chocolate chocolate.

Gabe and Colin’s lunches overlap, so he got to sit and hang out with us too.

 

Carina’s Birthday Party

Last weekend was a busy weekend – for all of the families.  So I decided to keep Carina’s party simple and short.  She is two, afterall.  I knew that my parents and Bobby’s family were all headed to the temple in the morning and Gabe had a soccer game, so we planned the party for late afternoon.  It was the day after my Easter photo shoot, so I had a lovely basket for the centerpiece.  We made three different kinds of popcorn – Salty Garlic, Cinnamon and Sugar, and Siracha with Lime – with juice boxes for the kids. When the kids arrived they each decorated a bag for the popcorn and just played.

It was all going splendidly except for one minor detail: Lindsey’s family were the only guests there.  I knew that everyone else was traveling home from Columbia, and my Dad had already said they were going to be a little late, so I didn’t think much of it at first.  An hour into the hour and a half party and I got a hold of my Dad, who let me know that Bobby had pointed out to him that it was on March 30, not March 23.  I pulled up the evite I sent out and, lo and behold, I had clicked on the wrong Saturday when I sent it out.  Lindsey hadn’t really noticed the date because we had been talking all week about how it was that Saturday and had spent the previous evening together at the photo shoot, so knew she to come on the “wrong” date.

My parents were just driving back into town so they managed to make it in time for the cake, but Bobby and Sabina were still far from home. It was one of the those horrible-mom moments.  I just had so many things I was planning and doing that week and I felt so good about getting it all done, but I HADN’T gotten it done RIGHT.

Lucky for me, Carina had no idea I missed up (though her brothers did and were not happy about the absence of their boy cousins), and she had a jolly good time.  She talked all day about her birthday and her cake and presents. She was very excited to wear a new dress as well.

 

And a video of her blowing out the candles.  You can tell she is a little nervous with her nail-biting.  I love her proud look at the end.  She is such an energetic and oh-so-sweet little girl.

A Daddy with a sense of humor

Quite awhile ago, my sister-in-law Sabina gave me a itty- bitty traditional Chinese dress.   As Chinese New Year came close this year, I planned to have Carina wear it to church.  One busy Sunday morning, I pulled it out and showed her.

“Look Carina.  Look at the pretty Chinese dress.”

Carina, grabbing it and throwing it, “NO! No Chinese dress!”

We have no idea why she is so adamantly opposed to this dress – maybe just because she is so attached to her other dreses. Her brothers have tried to convince her over and over again to wear it, especially Gabe.  Every time, her reaction is the same. 

“NO CHINESE DRESS!”

One night after her bath, we went into her room to put pajamas on and her giraffe was laying in her crib (which is a huge Carina no-no – she likes her distance from the toddler-sized giraffe when it is time to close her eyes).

Pulling the blanket off revealed an even greater offense – the Chinese dress!

Each night after that, for probably a week, Chad quietly made his way in there while Carina was in her bath, and her giraffe lay waiting for her when she came in.  Most of the time in her favorite dresses………

……….sometimes just an everyday hoodie (that she had on right before her bath.)