Who My Mom Is, Part II

This post was written by my brother-in-law James Blair.  I really liked hearing his perspective.
My mother-in-law is love in action.

She accepted me pretty quick. She did not have much time, but she didn’t need it.
See this dress?

It did not come from a store. It was a custom order. She made it with love for a special daughter who finally found the man who matched the dress.

She also made something special for me. It was a surprise. It was a good surprise. The groom’s cake tradition was new to her, but she took it and had fun.
Speaking of having fun, she has never missed a chance to have fun with her grandkids. This was right after Jeb was born. How many Grannys would do this for their grandkids?

http://blairbears.blogspot.com/2009/09/granny-dancin-in-rain.html  (click for a video)

Love in action sometimes means dancing in the rain with 2 and 3 year old granddaughters.

Who My Mom Is, Part I

This first post is written by my sister Ashley Wright. 

My mom is incredibly thoughtful. 
She is always aware of what people are most in need of.  The times I have most noticed this is when she comes to help me with a new baby.  It always seems like she is one step ahead of me and I never even have to ask her to do something.  Whether it is taking the baby so I can rest, cleaning my kitchen, making a meal or playing with the other kids - she's right there doing it before I even realize it needs done. 

 
If I step back and look at my childhood I can see examples there as well. She would take me for special birthday trips out of town, help with a chore when she could see that we were just too overwhelmed and she was always helping those around us.  And one of my favorite current examples is how well she knows her grandkids and finds way to make each of them feel special.  She knows what activities they like to do, types of treats they like and she always comes up with perfect gifts for birthdays and Christmas.
 
She doesn't just serve others - she takes the time and effort to think of their individual needs and doesn't just do what is convenient for her. She is an incredible example to me and I love her for all that she does for our family.

September – A Celebration of My Mom

You have all seen pictures of my mom, Linda,  on here.  She is beautiful and beaming in every one of them.  She is just as lovely in real life, I can promise you. 

You can’t tell from the pictures, but my mom struggles every day of her life. 

Almost five years ago, my mom was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Aphasia, or PPA.  It is a disease that robs it's victims of their use of speech.  For my mom it started off with a difficulty in remembering words.  She would be talking and midsentence couldn’t remember what word to use.  She would know exactly what she meant and what she wanted to say, but just couldn’t recall the word for it.  It progressed (as it does).  She soon couldn’t speak in public (something she was brilliant at before) and couldn’t read aloud.  At this point, speech is very difficult for my mom, and comprehending speech is exhausting and very frustrating. She has a very hard time filtering out the noises around her to understand what is being said, so even gatherings with all the grandkids, while joyous for her, are also very hard.

When you first hear about PPA, you cannot fully imagine the heartache that it brings -the dreams that die with the diagnosis, the days of depression that it inevitably brings on the sufferer, who is fully aware of what is being taken from them day by day.  Maybe someday I will write more about that, but let me write briefly about one of the tragedies of PPA.

My parents moved here two years ago to be close to family – three of their kids,  and 13 of their grandkids (now 14).  They left the small town that they had been home for almost 30 years.  They left all of their church friends, one of my mom’s sisters, her parents, all of the church members who knew her as a stalwart member of the ward, and a town full of people that knew her from one way or another.

Moving somewhere new – leaving all of that behind – is hard enough.  I can’t imagine doing it with PPA.  My mom is a brave woman though.  She still seeks people out.  She still keeps her eyes open for ways of serving.  She still smiles.
Sometimes when I am at church with her, or a baby shower, I see that smile on her face, and I hear her offer as many words as she possibly can to let people know that she cares and notices them.  I love her for it, and it makes me happy, but I can’t help but think, “None of these people really know my mom.  They have no idea how intelligent she is – how much humor she always brought to everyone around.  They have no idea how much strength and wisdom lies under that smile.”

My mom has not just lost her speech, she has lost a great deal of her identity.  This is a tragedy – that the world can’t fully know my mother. 

Don’t we all want to feel understood?  Don’t we all want to feel that the people around us know who we are? 

So for my mom’s birthday, which on the 15th, I want her to have that.  Some of the people who know her best will be sharing with the world who my mother is.  It might be difficult for her to comprehend everything that will be written here, but I will be praying daily that she will feel the messages we have for her even when she can’t completely understand them. 

Mom,

For your birthday

I wanted you to know

That you have touched so many people.

We think that the whole world needs to know you.

Even if it is hard for you to talk now,

We will talk for you.

We will be your voice.

Every day, until your birthday

We will tell everyone who you are.

We love you.

Fourth Annual Back-to-School Dinner

We held our annual Back-to-School dinner last Wednesday night, complete with kid-made decorations.

This year’s family motto:

Kindness Begins With Me

The menu:

Couscous Grande with Oregano

Grilled Shrimp

Strawberry Poppyseed Salad

Turtle Pie (store-bought) for dessert.  Yum.

 

   

Just a little side note – we moved Carina and her Bumbo to the floor after pictures….just in case you were worried :o)

Previous Back-to-School Dinners: 2008, 2009, 2010

Ollie’s birthday

 

Ollie’s birthday last week started out fantastic.  His brothers had the great idea of getting his a fish from them.  He was thrilled.  He named the fish “Monkey Wrench.”  The fish was dead before nightfall :o(  Ollie cried. We have now promised to get him beta. 

 

 

 

 

Chad really made the day great for Ollie with a little scavenger hunt.  He left Ollie’s favorite candy all over the house and left clues to find them.  Oliver thought it was the coolest thing ever.  So did his brothers – who have now requested that Chad do the same thing for their birthdays.

 

 

 

 

Oliver wanted Chick-fil-A for dinner and we gladly complied.  After that he got to open a couple of presents, one of which was some K’NEX from his Grandpa and Grandpa Coleman.  He LOVED them.  All the boys did – they have been played with every day since then.  Thanks Judy and Bill!

Saturday was the main event – a pool/pizza party with all of his cousins.  He loves his cousins so much.  He is still like a little mascot to them - they all love to make laugh and treat him like a little pal. 

 

He got the cupcakes with cherries on top that he requested.  Then all the cousins played in the warm, dirty puddle caused by an overflow in the splash area.  Whenever this happens, the kids all flock to it – I couldn’t really blame them during the party – the pool water was a pretty chilly!  I think a certain father (who shall not be named)  didn’t even get in!

Ollie had a fantastic couple of days and I think his birthday lived up to all the hype that had been building for months and months.  We love this little three year old!

Dear Gabriel,

I just dropped you off for your first day of kindergarten. You walked in smiling and confident.  Inside the classroom, it was chaotic, and you didn't know what you were supposed to do and where you were supposed to go.  Your sister was crying and your little brother was starting a fit about wanting to go to his own class.  It was not the goodbye I wanted for you.  I could see your eyes get a little misty as you asked me if I could stay with you for a little while.  My Gabe, I wanted to stay forever (or to just take you home with me).

Then the teacher was able to talk to you, and the mist went away quickly, and you got to work.  We tried to exit as quickly as possible.

Gabe, I knew that the same twisty feeling I was having in my stomach was going on in yours.  I knew that your head was full of questions and possibilities of what could go wrong (just like mine).  I have always been there to answer your questions and soothe all the anxiety out of you, and there is a big part of me that wants to do that for you every day of your life.

Then there is that other part of me that knows this separation - the one that had me crying the whole way home - is what is best.  I have watched you, my love, as you have learned so many new things these last couple of years - speech, reading, piano, soccer.  You started out protesting, dragging your feet, slowly loosening up and letting yourself be taught.  With each of these new ventures, the more you have learned, the more confident you have become.  Now you are a totally different boy than you were as a toddler.  You are no longer the little brother who can wants to retain his role and expects help with everything.  You are the strong and independent boy who knows he is really good at learning things. 

It is that boy I left at the school today.  I had an assurance in my heart that although you will have your moments of missing home, moments of wondering if you are doing things right, and moments of feeling that you aren't, you will grow because of it. You will gain more confidence in this struggling and conquering than you would gain from years of me soothing and assuring your fears away.

I will miss you at home.  I will miss your constant chatting when you are feeling social, and your quiet playing when you are caught up in your imagination.  Your sister and I will miss your crinkly-eyed smiles and your spontaneous hugs when something has made you really happy.  Ollie will miss the brother who builds tracks and castles for him.

I love you Gabe.  Keep up the good work, and you will be just fine. Better than just fine.

Love Always,
Mom

Just some last pictures from Myrtle Beach

  

Illegal dumping?

Huntington Beach State Park

While we were in Myrtle Beach, we decided to take a little day trip to Huntington Beach State Park.  We always go to Myrtle Beach because it is the cheapest beach city around, but we do not love the crowds and commercialization that jumps out at you everywhere you turn.  We wanted to get away from all of that, and Huntington Beach was perfect.  Just perfect.  I didn’t take any pictures at the beach, because we had a lot to carry anyway (including a baby) and I am paranoid about my nice camera getting sand in it, but I wish I could have made the effort.  It was so smooth and white, and natural looking.  Just gorgeous.  It wasn’t crowded and Gabe and I found our best seashells of our trip there. 

Before we hit the beach, we toured, Atalaya, which was winter home of the Huntingtons, and sits inside the state park.  The walls are pretty much all that is left, but it was interesting to see Moorish-inspired architecture on the coast of South Carolina.

There was also an educational center where the kids got to touch a stingray. 

All of it was great, but we almost wished that we just went straight to the beautiful beach.  It was our best beach day and it got cut short when some storms rolled in. 

This a view of the marshland on the way out of the park.

Ripley’s Aquarium

Just a few pictures from Ripley’s Aquarium last week.  It was super crowded, but there were definitely some beautiful sea-life to be seen.  The boys liked most of it, especially Ollie.  We went on this moving sidewalk through a tunnel that had sharks, and Gabe did not like that too much.  He would crouch down and duck his head when the sharks came too close. 
They had a huge shark exhibit with a line long enough to persuade us not to go.  However, we did catch a sneak peak of a mermaid from their (weird) mermaid show.




So, what did I think of Ripley’s Aquarium? Glad we got the tickets for free or it definitely would have felt like a waste of money (it’s expensive for what it is).

A “walk” on the beach last Thursday

 
“Let’s talk a walk on the beach this evening, boys.”

 

“But we aren’t going to wear swimsuits, so no getting in the water.”

  

                   

Ha. Ha. Ha.