Summer Schedule: Field Trip Fridays

One more aspect of our summer schedule that I came up with last year was Field Trip Fridays.  I don’t want the kids to feel like every day of the summer has to be full of activities galore – most of our time will be spent doing fun things in our neighborhood or getting things done – but there are definitely places I love to take them.  So I settled on one “field trip” every Friday.  We get to put away our responsibilities for the morning and take off to do something exciting.  The kids really look forward to it, and are very satisfied with our day-to-day activities the rest of the week, knowing that “Field Trip Friday” is coming up.

Last Friday we headed to the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden for their “Summer of Color” and it was fantastic.  We had an unseasonably cool first week of summer, and the weather was perfect – 70’s and breezy.  If you are a faithful reader, you know that we love the garden.  We have had an annual membership there since we moved into this house five years ago, and my kids are familiar with every twist and turn.  The first stop is always the willow maze.  We were delighted to see these gourds (?) growing up some of the willow branches……

As we were admiring them, a bird flapped out of the willows with a few loud chirps, which lead us to discover this….

…right at the kid’s eye level.  They oohed and ahhed over it.  It was just delightful.

 

After a quick snack, we checked out the vegetable garden.  I love the brightly painted bamboo stakes they have used for plant supports. 

The garden was very just bursting with life, and so vibrant and lush.  June might be my favorite month there.

This picture reminded me of one of my favorite trips to the garden,which I posted about here.

And this picture reminded me off this post.  Boy, those boys were sure cute. 

Carina shrieked to get out of the stroller whenever we came near a fountain, which was quite often, and she always insisted on grabbing a plastic baggie out of the stroller (that had a peach pit in it), and carrying it with her.  I guess a girl has to have her purse with her, huh?

The water features are definitely the favorite part of the garden for all the kids.  The water tunnel is always the highlight – there is a sign that says, “Take a chance! But you may get wet.”  Gabe guarantees that he will get wet.  If the water isn’t on when we get there, he will stand in the middle until it comes on.  I was just pulling my camera out as he stood there on Friday, and I managed to snap there pictures.  They make me smile.

Add in a few lizards sighting, orchids, visiting the finches, “secret” passageways, and lots of laughter….it was the perfect trip.  If you are looking for a soul-refreshing day, I would highly recommend a trip the the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden.  It is definitely getting hotter this week, but they are also open every Thursday evening during the summer.  Evenings there are even more soothing. 

Summer schedule: Chore apprentices

Last year I put a lot of thought and energy into planning how we would spend our time as a family during the summer.  I want my two school age kids to have some carefree summer moments, but I also want to make the most of the time I get with them.  I want to use our days very deliberately.

  I knew that some of that time needed to be spent teaching them that everyone in our family needs to contribute to keeping our home clean.  I was a slob as a child, and I still battle my bad habits.  My parents definitely tried to teach me better, so I know firsthand that kids can be awful about doing chores.  How could I teach my kids to learn the satisfaction of a job well done?

I have been really happy with the idea I came up with and I am using it again this year.  For the summer, they are my apprentices. 

We work side by side, mastering the art of cleaning.  Colin is my bathroom apprentice.  Once a week, I have an hour worked into our schedule where we clean the bathrooms together – top to bottom.  Gabe is my kitchen apprentice, so I do the same with him in the kitchen. Here are some important tips for making this happen:

1.  Make a list of everything that you need to do in the room, in the order it needs to happen. Make it as detailed as possible.   Trust me on this.   This will keep both of you on track, and it makes the job seem far less overwhelming if you can focus on one small task at a time.  It also helps your child to learn not do a sloppy job – they have to remember all the small details. 

2.  If you have more than one child, find a way to keep the other ones busy.  My solution (this is one of my favorite parts of the apprenticeships):  while Colin is working with me, it is Gabe’s “chore” to play with his other two siblings.  He plays what they want to play, he helps them, and he keeps them busy.  Oliver really eats this up.  He loves to have the attention of his brother.  On Gabe’s day, Colin does it.  If they fight with them or stop taking care of them, they have to help clean.

3.  Take it seriously, and make them take it seriously. You are teaching them something that is important.  Don’t allow them to slack off.  You will be tempted to just take over and do it yourself sometimes, but don’t.  They won’t know how to do some of the simplest tasks, but  patiently teach them to the basics.  They must at least try their best, which brings me to my next point…..

4.  You will get pushback, especially in the beginning.  There will be times when one of your kids absolutely refuses to cooperate, or they complain while they are working. Create consequences for misbehavior while they are working with you, but never consequences that allow them to get out of the work.  For example, I will send the refuser to their room for a specified time.  I don’t work without them while they are in time out.  After the time is over, we pick right back up where we left off.  There are always fun activities planned for later in the day, and those activities do not happen until we finish with chores. 

So, now that I have painted a not-too-fun picture, let me share with you some things I love about this little program.

• For starters, my bathroom and kitchen get scrubbed once a week.  This is always my goal, but it so does not happen during the school year.  With this program, I have to do both tasks every week, because it would be completely unfair if I did one and not the other.
• Once my kids get into a groove, they talk to me a lot.  We get great one and one time. 
• I am really proud that I am teaching my boys to clean.   I think their wives will thank me someday.
• My kids have (slowly) started to learn that it is so much easier to just buckle down and work than put it off or complain about it.
• They have learned that they are old enough to do things they thought they couldn’t do, and I have been surprised to find that they get really excited about doing some new things, like mopping and scrubbing toilets.
• They gain confidence in themselves.  Self esteem comes through real accomplishments, and teaching them like this does so much more for them than anything I tell them.

Let me mention that these aren’t the only two chores they are do.  We also have morning chores and afternoon chores that they do without me.  These are just huge chores that I wanted them to learn how to tackle with confidence. 

So, how about you?  What have you found to be successful in teaching your children to learn how to work and to take responsibility for your home’s cleanliness?

Signs of a good summer evening

This age

 

When I give Carina a bath, her wet baby hair streams down the back of her neck and I think,  “My baby is growing up.”  She may still have a round little belly and short, chubby legs, but those legs know how to climb the ladder to the top of the bunk bed. 

Just last week, instead of screaming for help down from the couch, she flattened down on her belly, swung her legs around and lowered them until her feet hit the ground.  Just like that, with all the confidence in the world, the first time she tried.  What? I’m like, 14 months old now, Mom.  Get over it.

Sure, this age is hard.  But it is also completely magical.  We are all suckers for her flirtations.  She will slide up to Chad on the couch, give him a huge smile and then sprawl her whole body out on top of him, head thrown back.  If Ollie is on the ground, she plops her diaper butt right on his back, giggling and shaking her shaggy head.  When we pick Colin and Gabe up from school she calls, “CAH CAH CAH” , like a crow, over and over again, until Colin talks to her.  If Gabe spreads a blanket on the ground, she immediately struts over and has a seat, so that he can drag her around the floor for one of her princess parades.

And me?  I am smitten over and over again, everyday.  When I lift her from bed each morning, warm and clammy, and her tears immediately end as she drapes her little arms around my neck.  When I am folding the laundry and she grabs each piece of clothing that is hers, trying to drape it over her head.  When she points to a bird outside the window and flaps her arms with a huge smile.  When I stroke her soft, gorgeous face, over and over again as her eyes droop towards sleep every night. 

It is not an original thought, but over and over I think it: I just want to bottle this preciousness up and remember and cherish it forever.  I want to soak in her smell and cuddle her sweet soft body and make time stand still.

Keepin’ It Real Wednesday

Gabe’s end-of-the-year party was today.  Sabina offered to watch Ollie and Carina while I went, but I just used her on Monday for Colin’s party, and this was supposed to be an easy-going little get-together, so I opted to take them with. 

I loaded our sit-and-stand stroller with cupcakes for Gabe’s class, cheerios, a sippy cup and toys for Carina, and of course Carina and Ollie, and hauled it into a spot by a little table in the back of Gabe’s class.  The teacher started out by having the kids sing, and soon she brought the kids to the front, one by one.  They read from a portfolio in Chinese and everyone clapped. Cute, fun, very nice.  Only this:  each one was taking almost 5 minutes.  And she wasn’t going straight through.  She stopped every two or three kids and had them sing two or three songs.  There are 25 kids in the class.  You do the math. 

Carina was great for the first half hour, which for her is almost amazing. The second that she wriggled out of her straps and stood up in her seat, I knew we were in trouble.  The stroller spell was broken and she would never ever sit still again. And then she:

Screamed when I tried to help her with her cheerios.

Screamed when I tried to help her sit in one of the little chairs.

Fell out of the chair.

Screamed when I tried to help her drink a juice box.

Threw the juice box on the ground.

Got happy when the teacher’s assistant got out a puppet to play with.

Screamed when she saw there were dolly puppets she wasn’t playing with.

Screamed when I only gave her two of the those puppets.

And on and on and on for two and a half hours.  I tried to think what I could possibly do.   I couldn’t leave until Gabe was done because he was coming home with me.  I couldn’t take her in the hall, where her screaming would interrupt the rest of the classes.  I could only give in to her screams and try and hard as I possibly could to keep her lips zipped.

And so I was that parent today, in front of a dozen other parents. I will do whatever the heck you want, dear child, just shut the heck up.

Does he look horrified?

Gabe had a very loose front tooth for awhile.  It was quite the tooth – he had a cavity eat away part of it when he was only two.  We got it filled in, but the filling came out, leaving it crooked and jagged. .  The tooth behind it was pushing it forward, adding to it’s wretchedness, and we affectionately called it “snaggletooth.”  Every time that snaggletooth flashed at me, my fingers ached to reach out and just snatch it out of his mouth.  He actually let me pull one of his teeth out a few weeks ago, but this one had a little root on it that made it a little painful to wiggle, and the tooth in the back was already giving it less wiggle room.

 

 

When we went to visit Levi and Audra, Audra felt the same pull that I did – let me just yank it!  She talked Gabe into letting her use her tried and proven teeth pulling technique.  It didn’t work the first couple of times because the jagged edge of his tooth was tearing the dental floss she was using and he was just left with bleeding gums.  So she braided the floss, and offered him two dollars to try again.  His response? 
A quick nod and, “Let me get a paper towel.”

Here is what happened next.

Trophies for showing up

Soccer ended last week.   We had a party at Sonic for Gabe’s party.  The one by our house  (on Tryon) closed last year, and we weren’t surprised because the service there was so awful.  Then it reopened under new management and now they are stinkin’ awesome.  They have some great deals there now, especially if you are a part of Steele Creek Athletic Association.  Any time you show up in an SCAA jersey, you get a free slushie!   Combine that with a deal they gave us for the party, and we got three slushies, a kid’s meal, a BLT, two corn-dogs, a chili wrap, and a soda for $2.50!  Isn’t that incredible?  Even more incredible?  I didn’t eat any of it!!

The next night we had a party at Colin’s coach’s house. Colin had a blast, but I spent the time keeping my roaming and overtired baby out of things.  She is at that stage – I spend a lot of time trailing two feet behind her.  Oh, and I also got to tell one of Colin’s teammates repeatedly not to turn the hose on and spray everyone in the backyard.  And guess how he responded?  Blasted it on and pointed it at Ollie, completely soaking him, and then….then, folks, he looked me straight in the eye and sprayed me.  Now, I am all for a good water fight, but not an unauthorized one when there are a couple of dozen kids around who aren’t supposed to get wet and trample mud into a very nice house.  This was a week ago, and I still feel like I was justified in the look that I gave that kid.

So, my last little rant of the evening…

I love soccer.  I love watching my kids run and sweat.  I love seeing them figure out the rules and strategy.  I love watching them build relationships with their teammates and coaches.  I really feel it is good for them. 

Our league doesn’t really make a big deal about which team is best.  There are no trophies at the end for the winners. Everyone gets a little piece of a plaque every season they play in the league, to add to a big plaque.  I think that is very appropriate.

However, since our first season in the league five years ago, one or more parents on each team we have been a part of have organized getting trophies or medals for everyone at the end.  For being a part of the team. I know this will make me sound like an old fart, but I think that is just stupid.  Sure, I could fight the fight and say that I think it is stupid and have my kid be the one kid who doesn’t get one, but that would probably make me an evil parent.  So each season I shell out $5 –$10 to pay for the piece of plastic that will sit on top of their dresser with the rest of the growing collection.

I have to admit that when no one on Colin’s team this season mentioned buying trophies until the last couple of weeks, I did have a few panicky thoughts.  Uh-oh.  Trophies every season and then suddenly none?  That won’t go over well.  Do I really want this teaching moment?

This is how much of a curmudgeon I am about the whole thing: As we were leaving Colin’s party, Gabe and Colin were talking about their trophies, and Gabe said, “Mom has a lot of trophies from dance!”

And I actually said, “Yes, but I actually got mine for winning competitions.  Not just for being in dance.”

Yeah, I know.  Evil parent.

Memorial Day weekend in the mountains

My brother Levi and his wife Audra recently moved their family to the mountains.  We got to help them break in their new place last weekend. 

Some highlights: celebrating my niece Lettie’s 8th birthday, lots and lots of gorgeous scenary, lots and lots of cousin fun, my niece Ruby doting on Carina and Carina letting her take care of her, chatting late at night with Levi and Audra….and last but not least…..s’mores made with with toasted coconut marshmallows. Sooooo good.

Any time these two high energy boys take a nap, you know they are worn out.  Thanks for all the fun Levi and Audra!

Let us stroll down Lover's Lane

I am a few miles off the Blue Ridge Parkway, listening to a rooster crowing and children laughing. There are views of swaying boughs and rolling green hills from every window.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon picking wild strawberries, I kid you not.

Just call me Cordelia, please.

Best buds

These two little boys were born four months apart.  At the time, the four months made them seem like they were barely even peers, but now they are as close as cousins can get.  A couple of times a week, they will spend the whole day together at one house or the other, and I love to eavesdrop on their conversations.  They both have clear, sweet, innocent voices, and they run around the house pretending to be superheroes and playing games that their older brothers might not appreciate. 

For Liam’s birthday yesterday, all he wanted was to go to Chuck E. Cheese with Ollie.  Sabina picked Ollie up at 8:30 am and Ollie was ready with a card that he had made and a present.  I normally swing by at around 3:15 to pick him up (on my way to get the boys from school), but Sabina asked if he could stay until we all came over for cake and ice cream after dinner.  When we came, Ollie was still not the least bit ready to come home.  The two boys continued to play together the whole evening, and even when there was a dust-up between the two of them, they had solved it and were jumping and laughing on the trampoline together before any adult intervention was necessary.

We can never move…because how could I ruin this?

Warrior Dash

The day started off with parental duties – piano recital, a picnic lunch at the soccer fields, and then a game.

Then we rushed home to change and left the kids in the care of their grandparents.

Since the day we signed up for the Warrior Dash, I had been telling Chad that we would not be running it together.  I did want to hold him back with my snail’s pace. As we drove, he firmly decided that he was going to stay with me, and I didn’t argue.  I was feeling more unsure by the moment. I had never run 3 miles in my life, let along 3 miles with obstacles.

We lined up for the last wave of the day.  It was a party crowd, screaming and stretching, taking pictures in their running gear, full of confidence. 

The time started and we took off.  Maybe fifty yards in, some of the people in front of us began to walk, and we passed them.  Okay, I am still running.  Yay for that. 

We passed the first mile through a hot a muggy field and Chad convinced me to keep running until we got the first obstacle.  It was further than we expected, and when we got there I was relieved that there was a bottleneck of runners.  We would have to pause to wait our turn.  We easily walked over some beams and ran to the water break. 

We passed more people all the time.  Sure there were plenty of people in front of us, but I wasn’t the slowest one there (like I had feared).

Jumping through tires and over cars, which was even worse than just running.

Before we knew it, we got to the mud.  Skirt around the mud, or jump right in?  I chose to jump and let out a yelp as the cold, red slosh went all the way up to my chest.  Our feet suctioned to the ground and then slipped slipped slipped as we made our way out of it and up a hill.  Laughing and trying not to fall, we grabbed at every tree trunk that was available.

With the wet earth pulling our clothes downward, we ran on.

Across a ravine on a slippery rope.

Over climbing walls

Swimming through murky cool water, climbing up on buoy's (with help from Chad and a kind stranger behind me) and jumping in again, losing my bib somewhere in there with all the other floating bibs.

Down a very long and very slippery firemans’ pole,

Jumping over fire

And then we saw it, the finish line, and the clock.

Lets make it before the hour mark, Dew, Chad said as we scrapped our knees into the mud and under lines of barbwire, the last obstacle. 

And we did.

It was exhausting, and exhilarating, and filthy, and the rest of the evening and the next day I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much I felt like a kid again.  I could not stop thinking about how fun it was. 

When exactly do we forget that using our bodies this way is fun?  That running, jumping, climbing, swimming, pushing ourselves and getting filthy is so much fun?  That even though it is so hard, it feels so good? 

We know that when we are kids, and then exercise becomes torture on a treadmill, something to avoid or dread. 

I am so glad I remembered. 

This is why I want to be in shape.  Not for a smaller dress size, not for a better facebook picture, not to keep my confidence.

For the joy.

Small and Simple Things Photography Launch Party

Tonight I am having a launch party to celebrate the official opening of my for-charity photography business.  I wish you could all be there (really really wish), but since you can’t, here is the video I will be showing to introduce Small and Simple Things Photography. 
I have been planning this little business in my head for months.  Now that I have finally made it happen I am a mess of mixed emotions: grateful, sheepish, nervous, and pretty exhausted.  I have a big day coming up tomorrow too.  Stay tuned.  It might not be pretty, but it will be fun. 

Music is Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill

Click below to find out more:

Keepin' it real Instagrams

Oliver’s Turn!

I am doing reading lessons with Oliver now, just like I did with Colin and Gabe.  He recently finished 25 reading lessons, so he got to choose where he wanted to go on a date with me.  Oliver immediately said Chuck E. Cheese and then a couple of days before he changed his mind to Discovery Place.  We got all packed up to go, and I thought, “Hmmm, I should make sure our pass hasn’t expired.”  Sure enough, it had.  So I (easily) talked him back into Chuck E. Cheese. 

Carina fell asleep on the way there and I was able to just put her carseat straight in the stroller so she stayed asleep for the first hour or so that we were there.  We had the place to ourselves, and had a great time.  Oliver surprised me with his baseball throwing skills, loved playing air hockey, and did NOT love the rollercoaster.  He also conquered his fear of people in huge animal costumes and gave Chuck E.  a high five and a tentative hug. Carina was so not cool with that.

 

In case you are wondering about the reading lessons, I use the book, “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.”  I taught Colin and Gabe how to read using the same book.  I like it because it requires NO prep work and each lesson is short enough that even the youngest wiggler can usually manage to last through it.  I keep a chart with 25 spots.  Each day they get a sticker and at the end of 25, 50, and 75, they get to go on a date with me.  Sometimes I have a daily incentive too, like they get to play the Wii for 20 minutes after they finish a lesson.

Oliver is a little sick of the lessons right now.  He was really motivated by the Wii and stickers in the beginning but by around number 19 or 20 I he didn’t care about that anymore.  I had to convince him that he was super close to the date to get him to do a lesson every day.  I am not too surprised by this.  He is still  young and has a very hard time sitting still and focusing when its something that doesn’t excite him.  He doesn’t see where all of this is going, reading-wise.  With each of the boys I have seen a point where the concept of reading really “clicks” and they get much more excited after that.  He has not reached that point yet, the novelty has worn off, and he is now 23 more lessons away from a date, so we will see how often I can convince him to do a lesson.

I hope it doesn’t sound like something horrible that we are trudging through.  Doing these lessons has been one of my favorite things to do with the boys.  In the end, they are really happy to have accomplished the monumental task of learning to read before kindergarten.  It is a great bonding experience for us, and I love sharing the learning process with them.