Monday, June 15, 2009

Breathe Katie, Breathe

Mom, are you out there?

How could you leave the room without me?

Ahhh, you came back!

As soon as Oliver got over the novelty of being very mobile, it's like he suddenly realized that he and I are two separate people and he was hit hard with separation anxiety. Nine months old for him has meant that his jolly personality has been edged out a bit by a clingier, much fussier side. I'm not talking about when I leave him with other people - that isn't really the problem - Sabina is very patient and he keeps busy exploring their house. It's more that when we are at home he wants to be touching me or in my arms quite often when I am making dinner, putting away the dishes, reading to Gabe......which wasn't the case a month ago. A month ago he was pushing himself out of my arms to go exploring. Sometimes I will turn the corner to change the laundry and hear him crawl around looking for me briefly and then start fussing when he can't see me.
Though I am almost always the one putting him to sleep, Chad does on occasion. He usually cries for awhile, but Chad can usually get him to sleep. The other night though, I awoke with a horrible horrible headache. Oliver just wanted me to hold him and nurse him, but every movement and sound that he made had me writhing in pain. I had to have Chad take him, and Ollie just refused to go to sleep. I could hear Chad showing him all the patience in the world, but he wasn't having it. It was the middle of the night, and I was vomiting from the pain, and he was just screaming away downstairs. Chad took him out and drove him around for 45 minutes. He fell asleep three times in the car and then woke back up. It was a bad night for the three of us.
I really think I understand what he is going through - his world has gotten much so much wider lately - and I know that it is a phase he will get through. It is frustrating though, and while I find that I have all the patience in the world with a newborn, it is a little harder with a nine month old that used to be so joyful. All babies go through periods like this - I guess I just haven't experienced when I have two other kids to care for as well.
So today, I concentrated really hard on just trying to enjoy him. He is still adorable and charming, and full of love and smiles for his family. Just because he isn't easy right now doesn't mean I should forget all of that. My house will just have to be dirty for awhile.
(For some reason blogger wouldn't let me do spaces today. I give up. Please forgive me.)


Audra said...

I remember after I had Nolan I thought "Wow! Babies are so easy! I want another baby right away!" Then he hit that stage and that all changed! I remember he seemed to get really bad after I was pregnant with Lettie and I thought, "What am I going to do! How am I going to handle having 2 acting this way!"

So, I know what you are going through! Cute pics by the way!

Ashley said...

Awww, it's such a sweet, annoying stage!

Kelly said...

Sounds like you are dealing with it just the way you should. With understanding and perspective. Good for you!

Ashley said...

Sometimes it's hard to remember that you have to "go with the flow" with these types of stages, and it makes it worse to fight it. Blaise just went through a weird bratty phase, but he seems to be getting over it. I guess he's just trying to figure out who he is.